L. J. Bowen was my grandfather; he is greatly loved and missed. He has been on my mind lately because of my grandmother's decline and admittance to a nursing home. He loved her more than anything in this world. (even when she was not so loving) He was patient, quiet, hardworking, funny, a great cook, loving, and strong.


My mother was extremely close to him and took his death very hard. Even more than ten years later she cries and misses terribly. He worked nights and he was the one she came home to and saw afterschool. They had a special bond, because their spirits and temperaments are similar. It was from him that she learned to cook, pray, work hard, and hold and cherish family even when they do wrong.

I wish I would have listened more, sat still and really listened to him. His wisdom was quiet but great. He knew how to fish and I never wanted to go. His silly face and red vest are things I will always remember. Thoughts of the death and the past, lead to thoughts of my grandmother passing as her health declines. I know that he will be so glad to see her. :)

Lord, help me to spend more time with the ones that I love. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and my dear parents. If you see fit Lord allow my parents to live long and happy lives filled with respect and much LOVE.

Interviewing People

Part of my role as department chair is to interview for positions in my department. Every summer it seems as though some of my time is taken up hiring somone new. This summer we are looking for a new theater teacher and an assistant choir director for me. With all the teacher cuts there are lots of people looking for jobs and even this late in the summer with the choir job only being posted two weeks I have interviewed six people. I am amazed at how hard it is to truely get a since of a person in an interview. We practice, know what questions they are going to ask and put on our best "Sunday" clothes to impress. I am looking to see the real person to know your heart and spirit. Willl you love the kids, will you work well with my weird quirks, will you work hard, do you have the skills that you say you have, will the kids love you, can you handle and control kids.......... and that isn't even the music side of things.

Things not to do in an interview:
1. interupt the principal
2. ask too many questions
3. call the children at your old school "riff raff"
4. disclose that the only reason you are getting back into teaching "at your age" is because of a divorce
5. say that you have several offers and are not worried about getting a job
6. show up in a wrinkled shirt and a dirty tie

All of these things did happen!

Venting about Mental Health and Family

Mental Health, what is it? and how is it achieved?

Is mental health real? For those of us that are Christians it is hard to understand the line between spiritual growth and mental health. Therapists, meds, book studies, journaling, music all used to help us remain stable and "get through" things. I come from a family that is very strong in their faith and the majority of my large extended family are "born again believers of Jesus Christ", but still we seem to have a large group that struggles with depression, anxiety, perfection, social disorders, eating disorders, the list goes on.

How do I continue to grow as a woman, a Christian woman when often I feel as though I am alone and the only one of this painful journey towards personal betterment. I know that is not the truth and that we are all just in different places in our lives and we must love and accept people where they are. That is hard when as adults on the process of living free from drama and codependent behaviors we make choices to protect ourselves and limit the type of people that are in our lives. We don't get to chose our family. As a divorced woman, I got realized that my life was better after he left me and I grew because of it. Changing parents or siblings is not a choice and I love my family dearly, but there is such drama. A family with strong, independent, opinionated, and passionate people leads to lots of disagreements. I am trying to find a balance between all of it. I am by know means perfect or have all the answers, but at times I feel as though I am the only one trying to find them. Some people are ok to push things on the back burner, to just not talk about it, pretend that nothings wrong and hope it goes away. I used to be ok with that, but I have learned that is not health behavior and doesn't do any good for anyone. Other members of this family just limit their contact or level of interaction as a way of protecting themselves. Surface relationships with the ones that you should be the closest too.......

I don't like or want either option. How does one achieve more?